me: i fucking hate my life

random person: why?

me: i'm 22, i work in fast food and will probably never do anything better

random person: don't say that

me: my co-worker makes fun of me all day and if i told my boss he'd probably just cut my shit pay, because he's a cheap bastard. my only real friend is mentally retarded, and all we ever do is stupid shit. i can't leave my home town because i never learned to drive, and i fail the driver's test every time.

random person: :(

me: and you know what the worst part is?

random person: what?

me: i live in a pineapple under the sea.

random person: hahahahhahahahahahahahahahah nice